preserved zucchini

Don't leave the island

Messed up things happen.  I was gone 5 days - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, count 'em.  Evidently, the entirety of the summer's growing potential jammed itself into those five days.  I came home to 17 pounds of squash and zucchini.  We're not talking the junior hand size types that are great for stir-fry's (and Preserved Zucchini or Love Pats)-- we're talking two hands needed and my arms hurt after I peeled them types.  These were like baseball bats (or small dogs).So, what to do with 17 pounds of giant zucchini? Zucchini relish, (with an Indian spice kick), of course.  I now have 16 pint size jars -- who loves hot dogs ?

The secret of my success

Summer squash: striped green romanesco zucchini and straightneck yellow squash, fill my garden.  I should be thinking zucchini fritters, but instead, I think sex.  Wall Street.  Bad movies.  I can still smell my mom's yellow squash, pungent with red wine vinegar and soggy with butter on my plate, and see me, a chunky pre-teen at the table, watching the clock tick endlessly, day dreaming in protest.  I was dreaming of Michael J. Fox in The Secret of My Success...and scheming about how to get a better image on the VCR as my best friend and I repeatedly ran through his nude pool dive in slow motion.  The secret, according to the adorable MJF, was sleeping our way to the top.  And this, as far as we could tell, involved some sort of wrestling match on a couch with the boss.  I wasn't sure about the details, but I knew I had to escape the dinner table (and the soggy squash) to get started. Fast forward 25 years; I feel differently about the squash family now, as well as sleeping my way to the top.  I have no expertise in the latter, aside from unconsummated fantasies from too many late nights spent delirious in the office.  I chuckled to discover that my old favorite film ranked at #7 in Bloomberg Businessweek's "Top 30 Must-See Movies for Business Students".  I wouldn't recommend spending quite so much time on the pool scene however...